Sometimes i wonder if there's really a need to keep following up.
It gets real exhausting, i give up!

"Questioning myself, illusion or reality?
Its hard differentiating cos both seems real to me
Facts pushes me so hard this far
Overwhelming yet suppressing
Images of you came flashing in my mind
I tried to grasp hold, but i cant seem to reach
Self-denial pushes me so hard this far
Gave me strength and courage to live
I was pinning hope all these while
Yet truth came turning against me
No matter how reluctant i was to say goodbye
Its the best alternative in mind
Fidgeted a while, "I'm sorry to disappoint"
Maybe its time to let go and forget at this point
I came this far when truth attacked
Standing still when all collapsed
But no one was by my side
I could raise no voice with all my might
Deaf ears accompanied me through the night
How i wished it was a drama
But when dawn came it was a trauma
This fragile heart of mine could endure no more
Numbing it with a bottle of bowmore
How long i could endure
How far i could withstand
Fate is never in my hand"

Headed jb last night with craig and helen.. Its been soooooooo goddamn long since we last went for footmassage... One hour isnt enough to compensate 8hours of standing!!! Falling sick during offday isnt sth great, felt as though im taking an mc... Should i commit in june and july for work. Everyone is rushing me now.. I have to reply by tmr and i dont even have the time to think and plan about it.

I need a long break!

Im shag-to-the-max now.. My feet is hurting, knee hurting, spine hurting just for that lil amount of cash. Im starting to doubt if its worth it.. Mayb i shld listen to g, a job at the bank or sth for a year or so.. I guess im gonna skip uni this year and probably apply next year cos i f*ing missed all the application dates. well, forget abt edu stuffs now. What i heard today was the most ridiculous thing ever! Joke of the year seriously. Pants,stockings and covered heels? What sort of combination is that, f*ing annoyed!! Called charles immediately during my break and he was laughing like mad!! So looking forward to my off day, duper precious. I could forgo shopping n stay home to have a good rest. But i aint gonna do it tmr cos im getting myself a new pair of heels, just for work!! See, how tough my days were.. I could even forsee that those days ahead might be worst!